#30: shifting, held

in which Rachel sees some things clearly for the first time

So…I’ve been feeling an almost unbearable urgency for the larger project “The Escapist” and am attempting to translate my inner worlds into tangible form as fast as I possibly and sustainably can. It honestly has been freezing me a bit. And then I met someone. We talked together about writing so easily, and the tension melted from my chest.

I don’t know what this relationship will be yet, but…I’ve already started writing new poetry if that tells you anything. Venus retrograde in Aries repeating. It could absolutely just be professional, and I have no expectations, but…feels like cosmic alignment of a shared literary inheritance…tbd.

She saw me and understood me and held my intensity and didn’t even flinch.

I feel recognized and free. She takes me seriously as a writer, and it is the most beautiful gift. She asked me what I needed to be asked. She’s giving me the chance to consider the ideal audience in a gentle way, and I think it’s time I do that.

I have been trying to contain all the ideas for “The Escapist” for a decade, and this eleventh year is when all the ideas are finalizing and melding, when the structure is almost complete, and I am beginning to write and fill it in. I’m revising old drafts and compiling notes and reorganizing, and I’m also starting to put in tangible form all the material I’ve been drafting in my mind for so long.

The way it was organized and the way I’ve been sharing about it made sense given my process, was similar to that order…but, after talking with this person, I realized my priorities and realized what might be a better way to share “The Escapist.” Chatting with her helped me see the whole project in a new way, helped me focus with new eyes.

Poetry is foundational to my work, and I am still writing the literary saga as the lore and world-building for the miniseries with an eye toward an interactive gaming app and archive for all of the content. I started sharing my first book of poetry here in chronological order bc that’s what I’ve been revising and what is complete. It’s definitely not the most interesting thing I’ve been writing.

And now my ideas are shifting, and I want to be more flexible. I’m going to continue to share poetry and fiction and such, but I also want to share more about the screenplays. Would y’all want to read bits of the screenplays? I’m protective about my IP, but…I’m happy to share descriptions and pdfs of beginnings or particularly intriguing scenes…

And, on timing…I think I’m going to go with the flow. If you have any suggestions, I’m open, but I maybe definitely want to put less pressure on myself and take myself lightly and enjoy the ride.

This space might be more of a playground or blog in the shape of a newsletter.

And I haven’t shared the poem I wrote about this poet with her yet, so…might wait on that one…I will share other more recent poetry with y’all though.

Amazing what being seen can open…

Sincerely from,

Rachel Cohn